Random Happenings At Hogwarts
by abroadwayluver
Summary: James, Lily, Sirius and Marlene get lost in the Forbidden Forest in this modern retelling of a midsummer's night dream! first fic, all types of reviews welcome. :


The diminutive fairy flitted through the leaves, wings shining in the dim light of the setting sun while spying on the group of young lovers. Well, two of them loved each other. At the current moment, the red-haired beauty stalked the raven haired aristocratic-looking male. 'As boring as it is, it sure beats waiting for Queen Titania to wake up and fall in love with a squirrel', thought the fairy Puck. Alas, for poor Puck, the Fairy Queen and King had gotten into yet another argument over a small, unimpressive acorn that rolled in their midst. The acorn, though only a dark, muddy brown and half an inch big had caused a brilliant argument between the couple, which only ended when Titania began setting melons on fire and heaving them at her husband's head. It still dazzled Puck at how great aim the Queen had-scary, actually- and how the people of Hogwarts did not notice melons being set on fire and scattered throughout the park. Well, as nothing did catch on fire, then he guessed the people didn't care too much… Eventually, the couple had gone off in their own directions in a fuming rage. The steam was still coming out of Oberon's ears and the fire still blazed on in his steely gaze when he began formulating a plan. He would pretend to apologize to Titania and give her potion that would cause her to doze off in a very heavy sleep. Then, the King would place a potion made from the juice of a rare iridescent purple flower on her delicate eyelids. The potion would cause her to fall in love with the first thing she saw when she awoke, which would be a carefully placed squirrel. Puck was to stand guard and make sure no one disrupted the Queen or her future squirrel lover. Unfortunately for Puck, he happened to be deathly afraid of squirrels ever since one pounced on him and tried to rip of his throat when he accidentally picked up its acorn. Ever since, he had considered squirrels to be rats with bushy tails. He simply did not feel comfortable in the squirrel's presence, so he had tried to busy himself with the smallest distractions. A distraction did he find. He had come across a pair of teenagers running away to get married, whilst another pair tried to stop them. Puck decided he was tired of looking at a creepy squirrel and a sleeping fairy queen so he decided to meddle with their affairs…

Lily was extremely perturbed. She couldn't understand why James kept on rejecting her! Sure, maybe sending him flowers every Thursday-to celebrate the anniversary of when they first met, of course- was kind of creepy, and following him to the quidditch pitch every day before sunset made her just a bit of a stalker, but couldn't he see past all those **minor **offenses and admit his love for her already? But no, he just had to fall in love with _her_. Sweet, perfect Marlene McKinnon. As Marlene was her best friend, she had to grudgingly agree that Marlene did have some good characteristics, such as a long, shiny towheaded head of hair and blue eyes that resembled the Mediterranean Sea. However, Marlene heavily resembled the stereotypical pretty blonde. On the other hand, Lily had beautiful silken Titian waves of her that cascaded to her lower back and deep viridescent eyes, which sparkled as if light had shown through a flawlessly cut emerald. Lily therefore did not see the attraction and wished James just accepted the fact she was in love with him. Realizing that she could very well lose him if she didn't hurry up, Lily finally decided to stop following James and call out to him.

"Why hello there James! What a pleasant coincidence that we should both be walking down this path!" Henry froze as the Irish lilt of Lily's voice floated its way to his ears. Oh no. James became frantic trying to figure out how Lily could've possibly found him. Was he wearing brightly colored clothes? He was dressed in a dulled orange shirt and brown pants to blend in with the fall color of the leaves scattered around the park. He then fathomed there could only be one reason she could've found him. She was following him. Again. James sighed, closing his breathtaking hazel eyes and raking his hand through his raven head of hair. He had found out recently that Lily liked him. He rather enjoyed the attention he got from her, seeing he had been pursuing her previously and, as she was the most beautiful creature in Hogwarts. However, she proved to be a very disturbing figure when she began following him to the quidditch pitch everyday after their last class, astronomy, and sending him flowers "anonymously" every Thursday. He then started to "hit on Marlene", a safer choice that might make Lily stop following him constantly and then he could go back to stalking her. Unfortunately, she didn't. James suddenly remembered Lily was behind him and decided to address her and hopefully get rid of her.

"Why, didn't expect you to be out here. Are you sure no ones looking for you?" James threw out nonchalantly; He hoped his voice hadn't betrayed any secret desires to get rid of Lily.

"Oh me? Well, I just decided to take a walk in the park when I saw you!" Lily chirped in a cheery voice, hoping James didn't notice she was following him.

"Same with myself", he muttered while thinking 'Please go please go please go!'

"Well then, I guess we should walk together!" Lily burst out in a fit of annoying copasetic bliss, successfully hiding James's groan. They continued on their half-merry way while James was still looking for Marlene and Sirius…

Marlene and Sirius ran through the forest, hoping no one thought it suspicious that two young lovers were running around the Forbidden Forest with an oversized picnic basket. Wait, hoping? What the hell, everyone knew that Dumbledore was too stoned to do anything about it anyway! Two weeks before, the couple had planned their escape from Hogwarts. The two, especially Marlene, had been wanting to escape the oppression of Marlene's father, who was heavily antagonistic to the idea of his lovely Marlene "being with a dreadful hooligan such as Sirius." They hatched a plan where they would run away from their respective dormitories at Hogwarts for two weeks until Marlene's father gave up and promised Marlene and Sirius could be together as long as Marlene came home. The plan would've been perfect if only they realized that no one would notice they were missing until someone noticed how unusually quite Hogwarts had gotten. They packed enough food and survival supplies to last them about a month, when Mr. McKinnon was expected to fold. Finally, after hiking for eight hours, they "had gotten lost" and decided to stop in the midst of foliage and were about to fall asleep in the pale moonlight, when suddenly, another pair stopped right in front of them, a pair revealed to be James and Lily.

After a short talk inquiring how the other group had found them, the group of four fell asleep already as it was 11:30 and they had been hiking for most of the day. That was when the mischief began. Puck finally decided to take pity on the entire group and decided to help them out. He first decided to help poor darling Lily and make her less stalkerish to James. He chanted some magic words in Lily's ears ("Stop Being A Stalker. . . Stop Being a stalker. . .") Puck then used magic to change a couple of completely correct ideas in Mr. McKinnon's mind about Marlene and Sirius's relationship so that he became more accepting. Finally, he made Marlene and Sirius forget all their original, idiotic plans so they would head back home. Puck was about to congratulate himself on a job well done when he was hit in the head with a nut. As he turned around, he came to face a squirrel. An immense, one pound squirrel with dusky light brown fur and yellow eyes. This was no ordinary squirrel. This was the original squirrel that tried to kill him years before. The next day, Oberon decided to congratulate Puck on what a good job he had done with Titania when he thought he heard frantic muttering from under a rock. Funny thing about the muttering was that it sounded something like "GET AWAY FROM ME SQUIRREL!"


End file.
